It's autumn now...and i am almost fully pregnant...we planted a pomegranate tree in the front garden, it was like planting my mother as i have such strong associations with her and that fruit. Her story of picking them from their orchard in Namin, throwing one against the wall to soften it and then piercing it to suck out the juice, feeling it hit the back of the neck..delicious...a ritual i try to pass on whenever i can..(the method of eating, rather than the picking of course..)
On Saturday there was a Birth Blessing Circle for me here with about 20 of my female friends,(mainly local) facilitated by Maria. We began by drinking pomegranate and rosewater. I had never heard of Birth blessings (or Blessingways as they are called in the US) but I knew i needed to be encircled by a loving community of women, as mum is not here this time around to encircle me like she did in 2004.
It was an extraordinary experience and enabled me to let go of my last birth experience, acknowledge my mum and my ancestors as present in the process, create a way of being for this birth - abandon and acceptance! And, while being pampered and sung to by everyone, open up to the support and love of a warm gathering of great women from all eras of my life. It took place in the front room, where i will be labouring, which now feels like a very powerful and ready space. We feasted afterwards together with the men and children who joined us and I had made salmon with dill and rice, the dish mum used to make at large gatherings. It will soon be three years since she left this world and Delia arrived. 
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- http://saltamares.blogspot.com
- 2008-01-06 @ 07:10:47
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- http://saltamares.blogspot.com
- 2008-01-06 @ 07:10:49
My mother died five months ago, July 2007. I still believe that I can pick up the telephone, call her and hear her voice "Hija, ¿Cómo estás?". Death came without warning, no preparations, no goodbyes. Death, the cruel coward took what we loved and continue to need...
The world has changed now. Four months after my mother died, my son called with the news of my first grandchild, my mother's first great grandchild! She would have danced with joy, she would have celebrated, she would have sung like she did at my wedding.
A sudden nighttime fever, meningitis and then too late, nothing could save her, she was gone before she could wake up. I feel like I am walking on a planet full of deep dark holes that I can't see until I get to the edge, I often fall to the bottom and have to climb out slowly only to walk again and fall again, it is an unsafe place. She is the earth that used to fill those holes...
Albuquerque, New Mexico
My mother died five months ago, July 2007. I still believe that I can pick up the telephone, call her and hear her voice "Hija, ¿Cómo estás?". Death came without warning, no preparations, no goodbyes. Death, the cruel coward took what we loved and continue to need...
The world has changed now. Four months after my mother died, my son called with the news of my first grandchild, my mother's first great grandchild! She would have danced with joy, she would have celebrated, she would have sung like she did at my wedding.
A sudden nighttime fever, meningitis and then too late, nothing could save her, she was gone before she could wake up. I feel like I am walking on a planet full of deep dark holes that I can't see until I get to the edge, I often fall to the bottom and have to climb out slowly only to walk again and fall again, it is an unsafe place. She is the earth that used to fill those holes...
Albuquerque, New Mexico